asipofbride | IC INBOX [kaisou]

[ he makes an irritated noise, in the back of his throat as Dante asks to 'lose the cuffs'. He doesn't fully trust the other won't pull a fast one and run, but... he slowly moves down with the little iron key to unclip one side of them at least, so dante's hands could be free. He'll retrieve the cuffs later, he's going back to his work before the other HAS a chance to pull a fast one on him. Hands on either side of his head to keep him still and free from running off like a dog escaping a groomer. ]

It is just water. It is not as if there is vinegar or holy water in this bottle.

Your hair needs to be damp in order for me to cut it properly.
Or do you want me to shave you?

I could shave you.

[ he will go get his clippers, by fucking god.

...He threatens wolfwood with the spraybottle, but he doesn't actually pull the trigger. Putting it down to return his hands to the scissors and comb to actually get to work on trimming his wild beast of a brother. ]

[ and as he is an accomplice to the whole mess, Wolfwood will put his feet up--bracketing Dante's thighs from where he's sitting on the desk in front of him. ]

Don't shave him. He doesn't have the head shape for bald. He'd look like--there was this movie on the black and white channel the other day, we only watched like ten minutes before Vash turned it off.

[ he needs to think for a moment--and the thought skitters away as he's threatened with the bottle, flinching back like he's about to be sprayed. ]

You make me change an' I'm gonna go and be as fat as possible in your doorway. I'll bite your customers, you asshole.

[ he sulks when he settles again--the least the guy he's betraying his lover for could do is, y'know, treat him nice, but that's what you get when you lay down with snakes.

and then he jerks upright a little, name coming back to him ]

Nosferatu! He'd have a lil' weird egg head like that guy an' his megadome.

[ true to his word dante doesn't move the moment one of his hands is free, rolling the freed hand around briefly before his head is all but jerked in the direction vergil wants it. the pout returns. when they were kids he would have flown out the door, cackling at the top of his lungs as vergil chased him down with a pair of scissors. if he closes his eyes he can still hear the sound of eva's laughter, if he closes his eyes he can even hear the distant chuckle of sparda.

but he doesn't, his eyes remain open and his ass all but glued to the chair he has been trapped in. ]

Ouch, that kind of stings but I can't say you're wrong. Don't think I'd be able to pull it off either.

[ he reaches up to swat at his brother's arm in a silent 'be nice' sort of gesture, the last thing any of them want is a seal-shaped wolfwood stuck in the doorway. ]

He's all bark no bite, you're fine. 'Sides if he does make you change I'll personally put you right in the door to the shop.

- Hold up! I wouldn't look like Nosferatu if I was bald, I'd look like... [ he frowns, trying to think. it isn't like dante is much of a tv kind of person, when he isn't working he's usually got his face in a magazine or book or hanging out with wolfwood and vash or training. ] I dunno some sort of guy from an action movie.

[ the threat is over, and the bottle is down--but he's still looking at Wolfwood with a ... confused look on his face. Between Dante and Wolfwood and this talk of 'changing' and biting...

he looks entirely confused.

There's a... desire to grab up the spritz bottle again and spray the man just to see what the hell he was talking about, but. Something tells him chaos is just beyond that door, so.

...

He'll fix dante's hair and THEN spray the man to see what the fuck cryptid, cryptic nonsense these two are getting on about.
He's quick with his scissors, at least--and he's not aiming to cut all of dante's hair off. just trimming the mane off and putting it back to dante's usual style. the style he always remembers the other having--just past his chin, bangs that often cover his eyes. ]

A bald look would not suit him. He would look... vaguely homeless. No.
I was considering a more cropped look. Perhaps like that of Nero.

I do not expect that would look terrible. I could go get my clippers.

[ and maybe Wolfwood plays with fire in that moment--because he's relaxed, because he thinks Vergil isn't really into mischief because he's boring, because Dante's huffy-puffy and clearly Vergil didn't miss his very public post to the network about his new problem.

right?

right boss? ]

You'd have a weird egg melon, admit it. [ he's grinning at Dante as he 'helps' keep him still, watching the hair sprinkle off in little white sprigs, strands falling as Dante's hair neatens up snip by snip. ] He already looks vaguely homeless, accordin' to you. Who don't look homeless exactly, bossman?

[ he leans back on his hands, continuing to watch the cut with a measure of interest--like he doesn't cut his own hair with knives and scissors, chopping it off until it's messy and short and low maintenance. it's novel to see someone be styled~ ]

If you trim him up like Cousin Snuffy, he'll start lookin' like you and then we might have repeats of the Incident.

[ you know.

when Wolfwood grabbed Vergil's ass and Vergil broke him about it. ]

[ sometimes you become so used to something that it becomes the new norm for you. dante, for instance, has become so used to wolfwood's curse that he barely bats an eye - and he also forgets that not everyone looks at the app as much as he does. considering that wolfwood works for his twin, he has to know about it right? surely there has been some point where it reared its ugly head and caused some sort of issue with a delivery.

right?

dante huffs at wolfwood as vergil starts to trim his hair, watching the tuffs of white fall with each soft snip. he won't admit but... it doesn't feel terrible having his hair cut. in fact, it feels kind of nice. ]

I wouldn't have a weird egg melon head. [ frankly he is offended that wolfwood would even say such a thing. but whatever offense seems to either fade of switch gears entirely. ] Don't cut it that short.

I'd rather you didn't throw Nick out a window again.

I will not cut it that short. Relax. While I am not a fan of you going around looking like a terrible rendition of a bed-headed lion from that animated movie--I am not so cruel as to ruin your usual style. [ he doesn't need to use so many words to say 'i like your hair the way it is.' ]

There are not many people who can make a hairstyle like Nero's work. Dante is not one of them.

[ snip. snip. snip. pause. ]

I only threw him out a window because he did not keep his hands to himself.

It was a reflex.

[ you'd think, and yet. Wolfwood's been very good at not being wet because he hates having to wait to dry enough to wiggle out of his skin. all the same, he plays his part, distracts Dante and keeps him settled--and then he distracts Vergil too and grins, wolfish. ]

You were an identical twin. With no shirt on. With your hair down in the way your identical twin wears it. I still feel like a 'what the hell, man' would've been more appropriate than making me pop my own shoulder back in and take a vial, but you do you, bossman.

[ this becomes way less funny after the third in retrospect huh. ]

[ frankly dante thinks he is being incredibly well-behaved, sitting perfectly still as vergil snips away at the long locks of his hair. he's even keeping the comment about vergil clearly liking his hair the way he it is to himself! he should be rewarded.

but all that good behavior practically flies out the window with the current topic of conversation. ]

While Nick ain't wrong, it's understandable seeing how long it's been since my dearest brother has had someone grab his ass.

[ it sure a lot less funny after the third... ]

IC INBOX [kaisou]

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